For as long as I can remember, I have worn black on Valentine’s Day.

It was my own form of protest against the commercialized holiday invented by Hallmark and the candy companies.

But then a friend of mine tried to convince me that this pink and fuzzy holiday is really a wonderful thing that everyone should look forward to. So, with the idea in mind to never knock something until you have tried it, I am going to find a date for Valentine’s Day.

Therefore, for the sake of investigative journalism at its finest, I am putting myself out there and asking all you single guys one question, “Are you interested?”

I am a 5’10″ brunette who enjoys movies, long walks on the beach, “The Office” and rainy nights. I am currently a sophomore here at Aquinas and I plan to graduate with a double major in English and Sociology and a minor in Writing.

I’m from Bay City and I went to the only Catholic high school in the area. That’s right, I wore a uniform to class everyday.

Okay, now let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. The stuff no one ever reveals until you are too far into the relationship. I’m talking, serious, third or fourth date material.

One time, when I was four, I took the fish out of my family’s fish tank in the hopes they would sprout legs like Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” and become my new best friend.

I have no money and my car’s driver’s side door is broken so I always have to crawl through the passenger’s side.

The windshield wipers are also constantly getting tangled which makes driving in the rain and snow a bit of a challenge.

My father just retired from the post office.

In unrelated news, while he worked there, several people on his rout received explosive packages.
I absolutely love Jelly Belly jelly beans — to the point of minor obsession.

I also have one thumb that is shorter than the other and I tug at my ear when I’m nervous, uncomfortable or thinking.

I have never seen “The Sixth Sense” for no reason other than when it first came out someone told me that Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.

I know the entire Doublemint gum song by heart and I do an amazing Elvis impersonation.

Even better, I can sing exactly like Cher and I am a huge fan of her and Barbra Streisand.

When I was in the first grade, I went through a phase where I pretended to be an alien from Saturn. It would have only lasted a day as part of a joke, but it made my sister so mad it lasted for over a month.

Looking for a non-smoker with good sense of humor and doesn’t live in his parent’s basement.
Adventurous, but studious, please have goals that don’t include the belief that your band will one day make it big if only you could afford a set of drums.

Most of all, you have to be a nice guy — those still exist right?

Although looks are not the most important thing, I am still human and I do believe in attraction at first sight.

Good hair is a must (though only on the head, hairy gorilla chests really freak me out) and dark eyes are always a plus.

Being tall helps, but if you are short and can accept the fact that I love to wear high heels, then big kudos to you.

Turn offs include insecurity, too many piercings and puppy kicking.

Think you are up to the challenge of converting a non-believer? Send an e-mail to roczkche@aquinas.edu and you just might get to spend your Valentines Day with The Saint’s newest member.